Never one to pass up a movie meant for kids that includes sly adult references, I quite enjoyed sitting down to Zootopia with a bowl of popcorn (lots of butter & a sprinkle of alder smoked salt - yum) recently. There is a memorable scene with sloths as DMV workers who take approximately 8563 minutes between actions. It's hilarious. They're sloths. It's also excruciating.
Surprised by my physical reaction to this scene (I squirmed; I flinched; I wanted to throw pillows), I took some time to consider why. And then it struck me - my own life lately has felt like someone hired those very sloths to work in the Department of Answers to Questions my Soul has been Asking Lately (DAQMSHBAL), while simultaneously bringing up a feeling of urgency in the lessons that have been coming up in quick succession. These lessons have been around letting go of things I thought I wanted and clearing of the old - patterns, properties, people, pilled sweaters. It's left a lot of empty space and the first instinct is to fill it. But if not with the old, the comfortable, the habitual go-tos, then what?!
As a nurturer of my own intuition, it usually speaks pretty clearly when it comes to "yeses" about things.
My whole body becomes a reverb chamber for shivers and waves of energy flowing. I call it the Heart Swell.
The 'nos' can be a bit more subtle, and are often hidden in the corners of what otherwise looks to be completely legitimate and 'great on paper.' Those are the tricky ones. The war that ensues between my rational/logical self and the truth of what sits simply in my heart can be a nasty one because I am really good at coming up with 'reasons why' that sound convincing.
Can you relate? If you do this too, let's talk, because I'm passionate about finding a better way to face these times when they arise.
A lot of yeses are happening in the Nurture realm, for which I am ever grateful and excited. A brief list of all the heart swells:
- The upcoming spring retreat (you joining us?), writing the menu for it, populating it with facilitators I have major girl crushes on, the incredible women who have registered so far, the fact that I have learned from past retreats and given myself the gift of bringing on an amazing assistant to help with all the little things.
- Collaborations with people whom I look up to and aspire to be like (Sarah Slean, MINDshift Ninja, Shecosystem, to name a few) and all the growth and beauty I know that will happen as a result of cross-pollinating our offerings.
- Hearing from people like you, who are reading this blog. When you send messages or email or comment and connect, it truly is the best feeling. Thank you for reaching out.
I've been rooting out the 'nos' a bit more consciously, and promptly dealing with them instead of the 'lingering no.'
Is there a worse feeling than the lingering no? I don't think so.
But, I find myself now in new territory. The vacuum that is created when you're in wait mode and sloths are at the answer trigger.
I was pondering this limbo recently when I lovingly scraped the last teaspoon of Drizzle honey from my jar and stirred it into my tea. It took its time to melt, and I watched the hot liquid slowly warm the honey to a consistency where it would blend and sweeten my cup.
It was a moment of reflection that would not have happened had the sweetening been instant.
It prompted me to pause and be present and take this moment for myself. Hmm. This was not the first time I had learned a life lesson from honey.
It's a beautiful food that brings to mind slow living, sensuality, sweetness and, if you've ever tasted Drizzle honey in particular, bliss. Of course, it makes sense to bring beauty and sensuality to this empty space. A drizzle of honey brings to mind the same kind of delicious lingering slowness we feel when we're in the middle of something we know is eventually going to end: a hug; time spent in bed with the sunlight streaming in; a lover touching the small of your back; a napping baby.
It made me consider: what if I treat this transition period like an invitation to see what's delicious about it?
The not-knowing what's next can be a testament to possibility (ANYTHING can happen!) instead of a harbinger of anxiety. This liminal space can be decorated with presence - the noticing of things, the experiencing of the senses (even the discomfort has a seat at the table - it has things to say and teach us), and the enjoyment of sweet moments like honey in your tea.
It is the BEST honey I have ever tasted.
It's inspired sounds I normally reserve for um, 'other activities'; life lessons; reflective tea moments, and a truly tasty cake.
Try it (the honey and the embracing of the space between), and be forever changed for the better.
p.s. For those of you interested in joining us at the spring retreat, please do reach out if you have any questions! I'll be posting more about the incredible women facilitating soon and can't wait to sit around the harvest table with perfect candle lighting and talk about life while eating really yummy things and creating together.
p.p.s Photos by the incredible capturer of delicious moments, Sara Monika Photography.